A Very Merry Unbirthday
by Sullen Siren
Summary: A Post-Gift bit of fluffy fun with a touch of romance and a dab of poignancy.  The Gang throws a surprise party for Xander.  Answer to a TOD challenge. **Winner of an Honorable Mention in the Winter 2002 Halo Awards**


Fic: A Very Merry Un-Birthday  
Author: Adena/Sullen_Siren  
Email: adena@atlantic.net  
Summary: Anya throws a surprise birthday party for Xander. Be prepared for sap and mush.   
Rating: PG   
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, no matter how much I might wish it was otherwise.   
Set after The Gift.   
Author's note: A response to Dave's dare. Which was, and I quote:   
"Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to write a nice, romantic, angst-free tale about  
Tara and Anya. The romance shouldn't be between those two and the story should have at least  
one double-take, a surprise ending, and some mention of the Infinite Improbability Drive."   
I apologize for the lame inclusion of the Infinite Improbability Drive. I don't remember the books,  
and wasn't certain what it was, so couldn't be all that clever with it. *hangs head in shame*   
  
  
"I don't understand the ritual of celebrating birthdays. It seems unnatural to force your  
mother to commemorate hours of unspeakable pain by purchasing gifts and wearing pointed party  
hats." Anya picked up a bright pink party favor from the bag she'd just opened and blew into it  
experimentally. She winced at the sound. "And why must all celebrations include loud, duck-like  
noises? Is it to avoid direct communication with one another?"  
  
Willow heaved a long suffering sigh, her nose buried in an imposingly large and dusty old  
book incongruously nestled amongst rumpled pieces of unused wrapping paper.   
She shot a quick glance at the ex-demon. "You're looking at it from the wrong perspective. It's  
not about the pain, it's-it's about celebrating the beginning of your life."  
  
"For you it's about celebrating the beginning of life. For your mother it's a yearly reminder  
that she once passed a large, squalling object through a very sensitive orifice." Anya glared at the  
red-haired witch in irritation and snatched away her book.  
  
"Hey! I was reading that!" Willow reached ineffectively for the book as Anya bustled away,  
replacing the volume on the Magic shop's overstuffed bookshelves.  
  
"You are not supposed to be reading. You are supposed to help me wrap presents for  
Xander's birthday. And you didn't pay for that book. No one would give us any money for old,  
ugly books unless we make them buy them before we let them read them."  
  
"But I was doing party-related stuff. I was figuring out how to make little party  
fireworks. You know, the kind that make a little boom and don't burn anything. In theory,  
anyway. Tara, back me up here. You saw that I was helping, right?"  
  
The blonde witch glanced over from her precarious perch atop the cash register, pausing  
in the middle of hanging a large banner. She smiled slightly. "Honey, you DID say you would  
help, an-and not in a reading spells sort of way. Why don't you finish wrapping those presents?"   
Her smile widened at Willow's slight pout as the other girl resumed wrapping, grumbling slightly.   
She finished hanging the banner and climbed carefully down.   
  
Anya stood in front of the register, her head tilted as she stared up at the banner. "It's  
crooked."   
  
Tara sighed, hiding a flash of irritation. "Anya, I already fixed it twice. It's fine. It's only  
a little crooked, okay?"  
  
"Fine. But I'm telling him you were responsible for the crooked banner, not me."   
  
Anya turned and made her way into the back room. Tara sank into a chair next to Willow,  
pulling off pieces of Scotch tape for her as she finished wrapping the last gift. Willow glanced  
toward where Anya had disappeared. "She's like the Napoleon of surprise birthday decorations.   
All she needs is a pointy hat and a French accent."  
  
Tara grinned. "She just wants it to be special. I think it's sweet."  
  
"It is. Sweet in a frightening, demonic sort of way. But sweet nonetheless."   
  
Anya rushed back into the room, pushing the cordless phone back into its receiver as she  
passed it. "Giles and Dawn are on their way with the cake. So it's time for you to go and get  
Xander, Willow. He's working, but I already told his boss he was leaving early today for this.   
You don't think he told Xander do you? I told him not to- but men are so unreliable."  
  
Tara interrupted, stopping Anya before she began an anti-men rant. "I'm sure he didn't  
tell. Xander will be really surprised, right Willow?"  
  
"Definitely. I'm on my way. Be back with the birthday boy so fast, you'll think I used an  
Infinite Improbability Drive." Tara and Anya stared at her in utter incomprehension. Willow  
heaved a heavy sigh. "Some jokes you have to be Xander or me to understand, I guess." She  
breezed out the door, muttering something about hitchhiking beneath her breath.  
  
Tara began shuffling the presents into a neat pile in the center of the table as Anya  
gathered the wrapping paraphernalia and hid it away in the back. The blonde witch frowned as  
she counted the gifts. "Anya? Didn't you get Xander anything?"  
  
"Oh yes. But I felt that it was inappropriate to present at a public party. I got him a-"  
  
"That's alright, nevermind. Why don't you just keep it secret, okay?" Tara hastily interrupted,  
deciding it was better that she not know.  
  
Anya frowned, obviously more than a little irritated, but said nothing. The two worked in  
silence for a few moments before settling down at the table to wait. Anya fussed with her hair  
and sent repeated, impatient glances toward the door. Finally she sighed and turned to Tara. "So  
what did you get Willow for her birthday. I know you didn't have a surprise party. Or if you did,  
I wasn't invited." She frowned at that idea.  
  
"No, no party." Tara assured her. "Willow doesn't like people jumping out of the dark and  
yelling surprise at her. She said it brings back bad memories of childhood parties gone wrong."   
She smiled. "I got her a bracelet, made from Wiccan power symbols." Her smile turned silly. "I  
had it engraved with our initials. Xander, Buffy, Giles, you, and I all went in together and got her  
that new laptop too, remember?" Actually, it had been mostly Xander, Giles, and Tara with just  
a little added in from Buffy and Anya, but Tara saw no reason to mention that.   
  
Anya nodded. "Yes. Xander put money in for me and told me later. I wasn't supposed to  
say anything about it to Willow though." She smiled. "I will put in some of my own money this  
year!"  
  
Tara refrained from asking how much, suspecting the newly generous Anya would have  
strict limits on how much money was allotted for gifts. "How-how come you suddenly wanted to  
have this party? I mean, it's nice of course, but it's kinda last minute."  
  
Anya's face fell. "Xander doesn't laugh much lately. He stares at walls and isn't as  
interested in sex. I understand why, but I don't like it when he's unhappy- and not just because of  
the sex thing. We don't talk as much anymore, either. I thought something that wasn't part of the  
routine, something about celebrating instead of mourning would be good."  
  
Tara hesitated, then laid a comforting hand on Anya's shoulder. "He just misses her Anya.   
Willow's the same way. I think they just need time. She was . . . important to Xander, and to  
Willow. As important as you are, in a different way." She let her hand fall away and smiled  
again. "But I think this is a good idea. Xander will love it." Anya nodded faintly and both girls  
fell silent, lost in their own world  
  
The sound of a car approaching diverted both girls from their thoughts. Anya squealed  
slightly, a sound Tara hadn't been at all sure Anya was capable of, and bounced out of her seat,  
bounding toward the windows. "It's the cake! Oh, and Giles and Dawn too." She yanked the  
door open and a red faced Giles stepped through the door, Dawn a step behind him. A huge  
smile, the likes of which they rarely saw these days, was spread across the young girl's face.   
  
Giles pushed the cake hastily toward Anya, who accepted it happily, carrying it over to the  
gift table. He took off his glasses and cleaned them distractedly on his shirt collar. "An-Anya,  
about that cake. You realize that it's a tad . . non-traditional?"  
  
Anya finished arranging and lighting candles then turned, her gaze questioning. "The man  
at the bakery said it's customary to put things the person enjoys on the cake. So I did. He didn't  
seem to find it strange."  
  
Dawn giggled faintly. "No one finds anything strange in this town. Not even-"  
  
"Quiet!" Anya rushed to the front door, peering out. "He's here! Xander's here! Tara,  
turn off the lights, everyone be quiet. And don't forget to yell surprise."  
  
Giles and Dawn gathered at the table as Tara took up her station at the light switch. The  
shop fell into darkness as the door opened, Xander's voice carrying from outside. "I don't know  
Will. Are you sure we were supposed to meet here? Looks like Anya and G-man cut out early  
today." He stepped through the door, Willow a step behind him. Tara flicked the lights, as a  
rousing shout of "Surprise" filled the small shop.  
  
Xander stumbled backwards as Anya hurtled towards him, wrapping her arms around  
him in a fierce hug. "Happy Birthday Xander! I organized a surprise party for you." She  
grasped his arm and pulled him toward the table. "You have to cut the cake now. Or open the  
gifts. I can't remember which comes first."   
  
Xander shook his head, a smile on his face as he glanced from person to person. "Cake  
first Anya. I'm starving." Anya released his arm and began gathering plates and utensils. He  
leaned back toward Willow, who grinned at him. "Will, you DID tell her my birthday's not for  
another six months, right?"  
  
Willow shrugged. "Yes. Repeatedly and with several different volume settings. She said  
that was the point. It wouldn't be a surprise if it was actually on your birthday." She reached up  
and mussed his hair. "Can't fault that former-demon logic, Birthday Boy. Go blow out your  
candles."  
  
Xander shook his head again, a broad smile threatening to crack his face in half. He  
moved obediently toward the table, accepting the knife Dawn thrust at him, "Thanks guys, this is  
really a-" His eyes widened and he did a double-take worthy of a Looney Tunes character. He  
cleared his throat self-consciously before speaking, his voice slightly strangled. "Anya, did you  
order the cake?"  
  
She nodded. "Yes. Birthday cakes are supposed to have 'Happy Birthday' in absurdly  
bright colors and pictures of things you like. So I had them put breasts on yours. It was either  
that or-"  
  
"I think we're all better off not knowing what the other cake option was, if you don't  
mind." Giles voice held its usual resolve, but a small grin played around the corners of his  
mouth, despite his best efforts to squelch it.   
  
Xander shot him an infinitely grateful glance. "Thanks An. Though cutting into it may  
give me nightmares for the rest of my life, I appreciate the thought." He sliced carefully,  
attempting to avoid the flesh colored icing in the center and began handing out pieces.   
  
Tara took a piece for her and Willow and the two leaned against the bookshelves, slightly  
apart from the rest. Willow leaned close to Tara. "We should have called this an Un-birthday  
party."  
  
Tara shook her head. "No. It's perfect the way it is. Xander looks happy."  
  
Willow feigned a scowl. "Bah Humbug to Napoleon and her non-birthday Birthday  
parties."  
  
Tara grinned. "Lighten up Ebenezer. You could use a party." She ran her finger through  
the icing of her cake and dabbed it playfully on her lover's nose.   
  
Willow giggled. "Watch it you!" Tara laughed, attempting to look suitably threatened.   
She leaned her head onto Willow's shoulder and watched as Xander attempted to find a slice for  
Dawn that didn't involve doling out parts of female anatomy.  
  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
Xander happily surveyed the pile of presents in front of him. "I can't believe you all did  
this. Thank you."  
  
Anya hugged him. "I did most of it." Willow cleared her throat loudly, rolling her eyes.   
Anya sighed. "Well Tara helped. Willow pretended to help, but really just read about how to  
make those fireworks that almost blew up the cash register."  
  
Giles frowned. "Obviously, she didn't read enough to do the spell correctly. Unless  
sparks, burning, and hiding beneath tables is part of the fun."  
  
Willow smiled sheepishly. "It could have been worse. One time, when you weren't here,  
Tara and I . . ." Her voice trailed off. "Oh right. You weren't here. Never mind. Forget I said  
anything."  
  
Giles sighed. "Gladly." He turned to Dawn. "Are you ready?"  
  
She nodded and stepped forward, hugging Xander tightly. Anya frowned as the hug  
lasted a shade longer than she liked, but said nothing. "Happy Birthday early, Xander. See ya  
later." Dawn's smile turned to a quizzical frown as she looked from the presents to Anya. "Wait  
a minute, didn't you get him anything Anya?"  
  
Xander grabbed Anya's hand. "She gave me a party, that's enough."  
  
"Oh, Xander. That's so sweet." Anya smiled down at him, then turned to Dawn. "But I  
did get him something. I felt it was better to share in private though." She leaned close to Dawn,  
obviously about to whisper her gift in the younger girl's ear.   
  
Giles stepped hastily forward, pulling Dawn away, speaking in a hurried nervous way.   
"Yes, Happy Birthday Xander. We must be going."  
  
Xander nodded at the former Watcher, hiding his grin. "Thanks you all. This was . . .  
really unexpected."   
  
Willow and Tara hugged him quickly as well. "We're going to head out too. Early class  
tomorrow. Happy umm . . . Well Happy Birthday Xander. Don't expect anything six months  
from now." Willow grinned. "You'll probably get something anyway, but don't expect it."  
  
Xander watched the two witches leave, smiling at their entwined hands. He turned to  
Anya, who was putting the remnants of the cake back into its box. "Shall we clean this mess up?"  
  
She looked around in confusion. "Clean up? But it's your party, and I put it on. Shouldn't  
that be someone else's job?"  
  
He shook his head. "I think it's down to the two of us An." He began gathering up pieces  
of torn paper.   
  
A hand on his wrist stopped him. He looked up into Anya eager face. "Leave it Xander.   
I'll clean it up tomorrow. Or I'll come in late and Giles will have to do it. Would you like your  
present now?"  
  
Xander refrained from commenting on Giles likely unhappiness and being stuck with the  
clean up. "Shouldn't we wait until we get home? Not that I"m not looking forward to it, but if  
it's something better suited to privacy, I think Giles would appreciate us 'unwrapping' it at home,  
don't you think?"  
  
Disappointment crossed her features. "Oh, alright." She turned away dejectedly.  
  
Xander watched her and sighed in defeat. "Okay, go ahead and give it to me." He  
glanced around, looking for the most comfortable place should the 'gift' lead to any immediate  
horizontal positioning.  
  
Anya smiled happily and fled to the back of the shop, returning with a small, gaily  
wrapped package. He accepted it uncertainly as she kissed him quickly. "Happy Birthday  
Xander."  
  
He opened it carefully, completely unsure of its contents and vaguely apprehensive. Inside  
he stared at a familiar photograph. His own face smiled back at him, Willow and Buffy beside  
him. It had been taken in a moment of rare calm and exquisitely carefree happiness. All three  
faces looked impossibly alive. The photo was well worn, bent at the edges with thumb prints at  
the corners. He lifted it away and beneath it was an old fashioned silver pocket watch. Engraved  
on its face with exquisite accuracy was the image from the picture. His voice was low, tears  
pricking his eyes. "Anya I don't-"  
  
"Turn it over." She reached over and did it for him, flipping the subtly shining object over.   
He stared at the words engraved there.   
  
"Unable are the Loved to die   
For Love is Immortality."   
- - Emily Dickinson   
  
She smiled uncertainly at him. "I thought a long time about what to get you. Death is still  
scary to me, and sometimes it seems like there's so much about it I don't understand. But one  
thing I know is that someone never really dies as long as we remember them. You helped teach  
me that, when I was afraid and didn't know what to do." She turned the watch back over. "No  
matter how much time passes, she'll always be alive for you. Because you can never forget her.   
And with this, you'll never forget her face, either." He stared down at the watch, not knowing  
what to say. A long silence stretched between them, Anya fidgeted uncomfortably. "You don't  
like it, do you? It was the wrong thing to do? I'm sorry."  
  
She reached over to take it back, her face set in an expression of misery. He grabbed her  
hand and pulled her to him, wrapping the arm that held the watch around her in a rib crushing  
hug. "No. Anya. It was the right thing to do. It was so exactly the right thing to do that it's  
almost scary. I love it. Thank you. Thank you for so much."   
  
She pulled away, wiping away his tears with the tips of her fingers. "I love you Xander.   
I'm sorry that you have to miss her. I miss her too, but not like you. I'm sorry that it hurt you so  
much."  
  
He shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I lost my best friend. But I still have the woman I  
love. I thank the Powers that Be everyday for that. Whoever they are." He smiled. "I love you  
too, Anya."  
  
Anya smiled. "Did you like the cake with breasts?"  
  
Xander grinned, failing to stop a boyish giggle from escaping. "Yes I did."  
  
Her smile turned to a grin. "I knew it. Men are absurdly easy to please."  
  
"It's one of our better traits I think." He picked up the cake and they began making their  
way to the door, his new watch securely nestled in his pocket. "So how am I supposed to top this  
on your birthday?"  
  
She thought a moment. "Well, you could buy yourself some lingerie."  
  
His expression turned thoroughly disapproving. "Men do not wear lingerie."  
  
"Okay. Then whatever men wear instead of lingerie." She paused, considering again.   
"But I think everyone would be more comfortable if you just wrote Happy Birthday on the cake."  
  
He stumbled, his face reddening. "Trust me. I wasn't considering putting anything else."  
  
The End 


End file.
